“Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men.”— Albert Einstein
I was challenged to re-focus on nurturing the relationships that I have been blessed with. Unfortunately the challenge was given to me and over 1000 people who were gathered at a Service of Songs for the sudden departure of the husband of a very close friend of mine, last week.
A common thread in the tributes being given at this event was despite how busy this gentleman was, (He was a top financial executive at a major investment company in Lagos), he somehow made the time to nurture the relationships in his life. This included his relationships with his family, old school mates, colleagues and business associates.
This challenge has lingered with me since then… Deji did not have more hours in a day that I have, he just made building and nurturing his relationships a priority. At the end of the day, what mattered the most were not the material possessions, nor accomplishments but the impact he had on other people while he lived on earth.
While I do not agree with the first part of Albert Einstein‘s quote – not knowing why we are on earth. I believe we should seek to understand and fulfill the purpose of our existence on earth (This is a blog post topic for another day). I could not agree any less with him about the fact that from the daily standpoint of daily life, we are here for the sake of other men – the main purpose for nurturing relationships.
While we strive for excellence and success in our personal and business lives, it is equally important to strive to build and nurture the relationships we have been blessed with. This is an activity which Steven Covey in his classic ‘Seven Habits of Highly Effective people’, belongs in the Quadrant 2 of his time management matrix . Quadrant II is the heart of effective personal management. It deals with things that are not urgent but are important — things we know we need to do but somehow seldom get around to doing because they aren’t urgent.
There are several ways you and I can nurture our relationships. They include:
- Make it a priority – Rate nurturing your relationship as high as building a successful business or career, and make time for it on a daily basis.
- Care – Sincerely care about your relationships. You show care by being interested in their interests, aspirations and well-being.
- Be trusting – Learn to trust others in order to develop more trusting and quality relationships
- Listen – Most of us like to be listened to. Likewise we need to develop our ability to truly be able to listen to others
- Take the lead – Relationships do not grow unless someone takes action to cultivate the relationship. As we strive for success in nurturing relationships, we can be the first to reach out, offer the apology etc.
With the advent of technology and social media, there are different channels to communicate – facebook, twitter, text messages, whatsapp etc. Nothing in my opinion, however beats a nice phone call or a face to face visit where you truly connect.
Question: How are you nurturing your relationships?