“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”– George Bernard Shaw
You like everyone else communicates with people, whether you realize it or not. To become a genuinely effective leader, however, you have to learn how to connect with other people in everyday situations.
Connecting is simply built on your ability to identify with people and relate to them. To become more productive and influential as a leader, you have to learn how to genuinely connect with others.
An example of the difference between communicating and connecting is when speaking to someone on the phone. After one minute into your telephone conversion, the line disconnects, and you continue speaking oblivious of the fact that the person on the other line has been disconnected. Has this happened to you before? There are times when you are communicating, but the receiver is totally disconnected and you are even not aware of this and you just continue communicating, but the other person(s) had totally switched off, and you assume everything you said was understood.
To be able to communicate effectively, you have to be intentional about connecting. There are several principles of connection and a few of them include:
Connecting increases your influence – People are always far more influenced by the depth and credibility of the connection you form with them than they ever are by the quality of your materials or even by the smoothness of your presentation. A genuine and sincere sense of connection can overcome all kinds of other difficulties and challenges.
To become better at connecting:
- Get into the habit of talking more about the other person and less about yourself and your own interests.
- Always try and inject a useful thought or idea into every interaction you have.
- Find ways to compliment what other people are doing.
- Be on the lookout for ways to add value to a group.
- If you’re fortunate enough to have some successes, acknowledge the role others have played in what was achieved.
Connecting goes beyond words – To make a genuine connection, you have to connect at different levels – visual, intellectual, emotional, verbal. There is an old research finding that says over 90% of the impression we create when communicating has nothing to do with what we say! Rather it is more about what others see when we are communicating and the way we communicate the message.
Intellectual – you have to know your subject and yourself. When it comes to reaching the heart of another person, you have to have personal experience in the subject you’re
speaking about.
Emotional – you have to win over their hearts before you have any chance at all of winning over their minds.
Verbal – you should harness the power of the right words to maximum effect.
While training some middle level managers of a Government Ministry on Authentic Leadership and Effective communication yesterday, one of the participants commented that a possible challenge in one’s ability to connect might be possessing an inferiority complex. He raised an important point, which also resonated with his fellow participants. We spent some time discussing how to effectively deal with this challenge, and some of what we discussed included being fully versed in your subject and developing self- leadership skills. This will subsequently build your confidence levels and increase your self-belief.
Question – What other areas may prevent you from connecting effectively?
Warm regards,