“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” -Dale Carnegie
Trust you are enjoying your weekend.
Last week I wrote to you about why emotional intelligence is important for your well being and overall success.
Today I will like to continue along this important but often neglected area on how to increase your emotional intelligence
Interestingly, available research points to the fact that there is a strong correlation between high performers and high emotional intelligence.
The converse is the same – generally low performers usually have a lower emotional intelligence.
You can be intentional about increasing your emotional intelligence. Some of the ways I learnt from my research include:
- Be more assertive when communicating to people. To be assertive means to have a confident personality.
You can be assertive, without being overly aggressive nor even while respecting the opinions of others.
And you are able to build a confident personality by appreciating yourself more, knowing that you have gifts and skills which are valuable.
- Respond instead of reacting to conflict. The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations.
They don’t make impulsive decisions that can lead to even bigger problems.
The first step will be to acknowledge that you are in a stressed situation and call it what it is.
Often, people will not acknowledge they are feeling stressed, as it may be percieved as a sign of weakness.
The opposite is the case. It is an emotionally strong person who stays calm during instances of conflict and emotional outbursts.
- Develop active listening skills. How often are you in conversations, and you are not really listening to what is being said?
Rather you are waiting for your turn to speak. Emotionally intelligent people listen for clarity, try to first understand
what is being said (That is active listening). They also pay attention to the non- verbal details.
- Take critique well. Instead of getting offended or defensive, high emotionally intelligent people take some time to
really understand the critique of them and how to constructively resolve any issues. They know they are not perfect and
so do not take criticisms personally.
- Empathize with others. Emotionally intelligent people know how to empathize. Empathize here means to understand
and share the feelings of others. This is a trait that shows emotional strength. You can build more empathy when you:
a.) Put aside your viewpoint, and try to see things from the other person’s point of view
b.)Validate the other person’s perspective
c.)Examine your attitude
d.)Listen
e.)Ask what the other person would do.
6. Be approachable and sociable – I like to say that “A smile increases your face value and it costs you nothing”.
A simple smile gives the impression that you are an approachable person, rather than putting people off with a frown.
Question – Which of these ways can you utilize to increase your emotional intelligence?