“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” ―Mary Kay Ash
Last Wednesday evening was time for my bi-weekly global mastermind group session, a group I initiated last year. I cannot say too much about the importance of being part of a mastermind group. At the end of the session, one of the members (based in Canada) remarked on how much she is looking forward to climbing Mount Kilimanjaro next year, and she planned to stop over in Nairobi to see me. My jaw fell wide open when she casually mentioned her goal of climbing Mt Kilimanjaro – the tallest mountain in Africa!
During our conversation, she later mentioned that she is looking forward to the realization of her dream. This is especially as doctors told her a few years ago, she will not be able to walk normally again, after she developed a limp. Diane is not in her early twenties, or thirties – she is in her late fifties! As she spoke, a thought just occurred to me – “Hmm, I could join her on her trip and climb Mt Kilimanjaro”. I made the mistake of vocalizing my thoughts, and she was ecstatic that we could climb together. Almost immediately – I responded – that I was not as fit as she was, and it could be an arduous trip for me. After we ended the call, I began to entertain the possibility of this challenge. On the other hand, I was coming up with even more excuses in my mind – “What an impossible thought! Nneka, you are so unfit – you have not even run a ½ marathon, or gone hiking for 5 hours, and now you are thinking of Mount Kilimanjaro!!”
I later discussed the possibility with my 17-year-old son who is a varsity level soccer player. His response was “Mum, it’s all in the mind!” He immediately understood that I just needed to make the decision in my mind, and then I begin to work on it. He even says he will like to join us.
I have continued to ponder on this challenge (my mind is not made up yet), but this situation brought to light the power and effect of limiting self-beliefs.
Limiting Self- Beliefs are assumptions or perceptions that you’ve got about yourself and about the way the world works. These assumptions are “self-limiting” because in some way they’re holding you back from achieving what you are capable of.
From a very early age in childhood, you begin to form beliefs about the world and your place in it. Your brain is very good at spotting patterns and making associations, so you constantly process the stream of information about the world around you and use it to form beliefs.
In early childhood, these beliefs are usually based on your own experiences and shaped by your parents or other dominant figures in your lives. For example, If I hit someone, I get punished, so hitting people must be bad. If I say “please” and “thank you”, I get rewarded. So, being polite must be good.
As you get older, you start to form more complex beliefs and can draw on a much wider range of sources such as books, movies, TV advertisements, the behaviour of your peers, and so on.
In my case, my belief has always been that I am not a great athlete (I never took part in competitive sports). As a result, my limiting belief is I do not have what it takes to be one. Some common types of limiting self-beliefs are:
- I am too old/too young to try this out;
- I don’t have enough experience or qualifications;
- Someone can do this better than me;
- I don’t have the money to achieve my project;
- I don’t have the time to do this.
Do any of these phrases sound familiar?
The challenge is unless you recognize that they are your self-limiting beliefs, you will not be able to move past them – It becomes a stumbling block to you making progress beyond the limiting belief.
Over the next week or two, I will write about ways to identify and eliminate your self-limiting beliefs.
Question – What do you think are your top 2 self-limiting beliefs?
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Best,
Nneka
